It's No Yoke, Valentine!

A selection of food history valentine's day cards

I’m spending this Valentine’s Day much like I have spent the past two weeks: sick in bed recovering from the flu (thank goodness for vaccines or this post would have been even more of a fever dream). While bedridden, I’ve had plenty of time to scroll through troublesome newsfeeds and then scribble Guaifenesin-induced food related hot takes to ponder over later. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the energy to follow through on those juicy ideas. I barely managed to help my children get their valentine’s ready for school. Once we powered through their cards, I took a scroll through some historical image archives and found these delightful and totally historically accurate* food-themed valentine’s day cards and just had to share! XOXO!

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As my friend Esther says: “Chickens can't even afford this shit."

This one barely needed editing.

One for your bivalv-entine.

Seed oils are fine. Unless you’re actually allergic to them.

The panic on the squash’s face says it all.

Pair with a loaf of sourdough and some beef tallow for the perfect trad-wife valentine bundle.

There’s some missed opportunity to reference cannibalizing here.

This one is really sweet.

And a bonus one that isn’t really food related, but nonetheless a treat!

Please send to: US Secretary of Health and Human Services, Hubert H. Humphrey Building, 200 Independence Ave. S.W. Washington, D.C. 20201.

*None of these are historically accurate for when they were made around the mid-twentieth century; they’ve obviously been edited. Are their updated messages accurate for our modern day and current predicament…I’ll let you and your Valentine decided.

XOXO

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